how not to get a re-entry visa

This is an email exchange between a volunteer and an official at the place where people live who have to approve our long term visas.

I've taken the names out to hopefully prevent this being found by the guilty. My favorite bit is the use of "robust" as a compliment.

There will be a proper post coming soon... but this should keep you going for a couple of days.

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Dear Xyz,

I don’t know if you remember, but I am the volunteer from Germany and we met during our visit at the FGH place as well as at the CP and the dinner at City View.
As you might remember, my father is getting married beginning of September and as this is a one time experience in my life I would really like to attend the wedding.
I was just wondering if I can support you in any way in order to obtain my multiple entry visa for Germany in time.
Please let me know if I can support and I’ll be happy to do so.

In the meantime I wish you a good Friday and an even better weekend,
abc
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Dear Meg, (not abc)

Thanks a million for your interest in helping me attend your father's wedding as well as enjoy my four week stay (training programme) in Germany.
I should be glad to have you truly support me obtain the multiple VISA. I guess we should mee to discuss it, since you are in Abuja.

Best Regards
Xyz
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Dear Xyz,

of course we can meet. As I am in Abuja, the (place removed) is not far so just let me know when (date and time) it best suits you. Probably sometime after 4pm would be good.

Regards,
Abc
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My dear Abc,

Thanks for replying my mail promptly. I would like us to meet Tomorrow (Wednesday 07-07-2010) in my office by 4.30pm. Please, confirm your availability. Or would you rather prefer somewhere else? Hope you are enjoying your service at the ME.

Regards
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Dear Xyz,

could you let me know the exact address again. I know more or less, where it is but just in case the taxi driver doesn’t know.

Many thanks,
Abc
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Dear Abc,

Please take a Taxi to FGH near THE DOME NIGHT CLUB following from National Hospital. That is the nearest landmark. Have a good day until then.

X
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Dear Ms Abc, (nice use of knowledge of marital status)

Thanks for paying us a visit yesterday.
You just make me fell in love with you. You look more robust, friendly and captivating.
You owe me the love.
Have a beautiful day

Regards.
Xyz
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Dear Xyz,

Thanks for the email and compliments. I am happy to be your friend, but I don't think we should be talking about love. None of us owe the other anything. I respect you being open and friendly. Thank you for your understanding.

Regards,
Abc Efg
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Dear Abc,
Thanks a million for being frank to your heart.
Best regards as usual
Xyz
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