Food Blog Pt II - The animals I have known and loved.

Stew

Meat in Nigeria is much tougher than in the UK (or anywhere else I’ve been), I think this is because animals are not fed high protein feed but have to fend for them selves and endure the long dry season when food is pretty scarce. Also female animals are only slaughtered once they stop producing babies so are pretty much over the hill once it comes to eating

To counter this Nigerian meat is either beaten senseless (see suya) or stewed for at least 8 hours. Butchery standards are low (why pay someone else to kill your animals when you have your own perfectly good knife and the road is basically wipe clean…. Right?) This results in a most meat coming with extra connective tissue, gristle, furry stuff  etc.

Goat Meat
Despite looking like they are a  little on the fat side the average goat doesn’t have much meat on it. Most of the meat is also impeded by bones and other things not normally considered food in the west (except if preceded by the word dog). Nigerians however love goat, its much more expensive than cow (which is considered not sufficiently flavored), goat also tastes suspiciously like what the goats eat, rubbish.

Goat Head
The head of one goat chopped up and presented on a very nice wooden plinthy thing. There are about 2 bits of decent meat in the average head. Mercifully I have never had the eyeballs served with it, although I imagine you could devise a good bar based tabletop game to play with them.

Dog
More expensive than cow. eaten in nigeria but not normally by accident.

Cow Skin
Yes people cow skin… commonly know around the world as leather a substance so indestructible you can use it to protect yourself in hundred mile an hour motor bike crashes. Here it’s a form of food, and I can confirm it is just as tough as you would expect, at the slightest sign of this in the soup at a Nigerian house all volunteers know to run, to do otherwise might result in it being served to your soup, and we all know that to be polite you have to finish what’s in your plate.

Intestine
Errr, not much  to say about this. Imagine trying to eat boiled hosepipe. Again another acquired taste I just don’t have the enthusiasm or dental fortitude to pick up.

Gizzard
mmm…. Sounds tasty huh. Yes random bits of chicken inside are considered a delicacy. The best way to describe it is chewy, and not in a good way, more in “I wonder what vital function this particular piece of gristle did, perhaps poo production?” In a random bit of etiquette, woman are not supposed to eat gizzard, I’m not sure why.

Suya
This part of Nigerian cusine I am really going to miss. In/near every bar is a man with a barbeque with meat. My dinner often

I - Meat on a stick suya


Cow (or other meat) beaten to a flat strip, barbequed once to cook then again to reheat. Its really tasty, and amazing. Normally you can have it delivered to your table, it also often comes with masa which is a type of rice bready substance.

Big sticks of meat are 200N (80p), with a variety of sticks available up to this price. Suya costing less than 100N a stick should never be purchased except as catfood substitute (this is actually the cheapest way to feed our cat but even he’s refusing to eat it now).


II - Random lump o suya
Meat arranged on the top of a old oil drum sizzling away in a pool of its own fat, yes it is as amazing as it sounds. Also these guys have taken a leaf out of the supermarket marketing textbook and normally do a try-before-you-buy system, careful descion making and comparison can result in more meat being consumed at this stage than in the post payment stage.


In general I prefer type I suya, it less likely to be dog and less likely to be completely composed of actual meat.


Kilishi

This is dryed meat, think biltong but not as meaty. This is produced by cutting meat into thin strips then leaving it to air dry for a day, then coated in peanut paste and bbqed for a bit. The drying process is perhaps not the most hygienic of processes, I’m not sure what percentage of the .As with many foods in Nigeria its probably best not to see it prepared if you want to enjoy eating it.

(it gets worse, behind this photo is dala hill in kano, this side of which is used as the local toilet)

Fish
Fish is very popular in Nigeria. Crayfish is added to any stew (including vegeatable stew, much to the annoyance of the vegetarians). The

In bars however it is possible to acquire the best barbequed fish in the world. Cooking is simple:
Step 1 (optional) you select your live fish from the “point and kill” tank
Step 2: Fish is de-scaled and dipped in a tasty and hot sauce
Step 3: Fish is put on bbq
Step 4: Fish is taken off bbq, and eaten by hungery volunteers, with optional chips and more hot sauce.

This process results in really really good moist white fish. Well actually if you follow the process through to step 4 it results in poo, but no one wants to hear about poo.


Rat-o-Van
This is for jon, he knows why:

A list of foods not available in Nigeria*
•    Cheese
•    Bread not containing 30% sugar
•    Bacon
•    Ham
•    Pork chops
•    Eggs with proper yellow bits in the middle
•    Lasagna sandwiches
•    Haggis

*except at ridiculous prices